A Beautiful Lie
by Kiyohime
Summary: Songfic...kinda. Shizuru thinks about herself and her past in school.


-1_The song is "A Beautiful Lie" by 30 Seconds to Mars. I was motivated to write this thanks to my girlfriend.. She had asked me why I loved this song a lot and also told me that it was definitely a Shizuru song, sooo… yea, I wanted to write this. ; _

**A Beautiful Lie**

_Lie awake in bed at night  
And think about your life_

Six years of my life… from middle school to my last year in High School, I've had many admirers. They followed me everywhere when they saw me coming their way.

_Do you want to be different?  
Different_

Every Valentine's Day, the student council room would be packed with flowers, cards and boxes of chocolate. Even guys stopped by the office during lunch with roses, a blush on their faces and stutter when they ask me out. I politely declined of course. I'll admit, it was very flattering. But…

_Try to let go of the truth  
The battles of your youth_  
'_Cause this is just a game_

Sometimes I found it pathetic. They just saw me as that perfect girl with a gorgeous body and face. They didn't even try to see through me. They didn't even try to get to know me for real. They just wanted me for my beauty and grace. I'm not a trophy, for kami's sake.

_It's a beautiful lie  
It's a perfect denial_

However, I guess it's a good thing sometimes too. If they were to see what I truly am, their vision of me would've shattered. Or even worse, they could've fallen even more in love with me and started stalking me to my home. I wouldn't want that to happen. It was the same every day… I'd put on that smile, a fake smile for them and be polite to them.

_Such a beautiful lie to believe in__  
So beautiful, beautiful  
That makes me_

Everyday, I put on the fake act for everyone at school when I was in middle school… it was mind-numbing. Until one day, a certain girl came into my life and gave me a reason to smile for real. A reason to let myself out sometimes. Even though I only let her see my true side, no one else. Only she is worthy of seeing it. I never was that happy before in my life… then the Carnival happened. The destiny of being a HiME broke me and my heart. I hurt my precious one. My hands had been tainted with the blood of innocent just for her. When she rejected me, my world crumbled.

_It's time to forget about the past__  
To wash away what happened last  
Hide behind an empty face_

She forgave me when we were resurrected. I wished so much she wouldn't have done that. I wished she would've shunned me and walked away instead. I kept thinking that I never deserved her and her kindness.

_Don't have too much to say_  
'_Cause this is just a game_

Then, I realized… she was the only one I had opened up to and let her see what I really was. She confessed to me, not in so many words, that she saw me as a normal person who wanted a true friend. A friend that I could confide in. The only thing that was unexpected was that I fell in love with her.

_It's a beautiful lie__  
It's a perfect denial__  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in__  
So beautiful, beautiful  
That makes me_

I thought I had lost everything by then… my faith, my dignity and her. Then one day, she told me she loved me too and kissed me. Of course, I had my doubts that she was just saying it for me… but I saw the truth in her eyes and I was satisfied and in pure bliss. I was happy that she's finally _mine._

_Ohhh__  
Everyyyy one__  
Everyone who's looking at me__  
I'm running around in circles, angry__  
Acquired desperation's building high  
I've got to remember this is just a gam--_

"Oi, 'Zuru… are you listening to that stupid song again?" a sleepy voice grumbled from behind me and I smiled lightly, turning the volume down on my ipod.

"Go back to sleep, Natsuki."

"I will if you stop listening to that song… I know you don't want to be different. I…loveyouforwhoyouare," the way she blurted out the last words make me giggle. She was so cute when she gets embarrassed about being mushy. I could hear her growl lowly as I giggled.

"Hai, I know… ookini."

"Y-yea… now turn that damn thing off and c'mere… I'm cold," I smirked as I felt strong arms snake around my waist and pulled me close.

"Mm, kannin na. I'll keep you warm, my cuddle pup."

"O-oi! Shut it!" My smirk grew wider as I felt her nuzzle her face in the nape of my neck, I knew she was probably hiding the fierce blush on her face.

"Ara, Natsuki-chan's so cute when she's flustered!"

"Shizuruuu…"

I laughed gently and shut off my ipod before putting it away in the nightstand's drawer. I rolled over on my other side to face her and pulled her close, nuzzling my nose into her silky cobalt trends.

"Oh by the way… if it's a stupid song, then how come you were singing along to it yesterday, hm?"

"…Shut up and sleep."

-Fin-


End file.
